Should I be prepared?

So far how's ur 2009? I don't feel smooth since started the new year. Did not happen any bad things but don't feel good at all. Hopefully later will be better ahead bah.

Sorry for not updating the blog. I've been busy doing something else and also busy with work. There are things happened in this new year so far. My classes at TF been cut and now I don't have any classes already. sad :( my efforts not applicable now. May be still got some replacement classes but very few. Can say I am free whole week but in fact not free also. As you know busy at work. work till late. tired after work and no time do something else. Is life like this? sometimes will ask...busy at gym will say no life....now no busy at gym anymore still say no life...

Beside les mills program, which not giving me good return, I am trying to learn freestyle step now. did my very own first step class by replacing at a small studio. Still manageable with a bit hiccup but still ok I presume. Most probably will take over the class and hope from there I am able to pick up and able to teach better in freestyle step class. I've been wanted to pick up this as I am interested in it. Problem and worry is the choreography. Been researching a lot regarding it and hopefully slowly get used to it bah.

As you see this entry's title...should I be prepared? what I need to prepare? I also donno how should I say.  Lately been to hospital few times due to mum admitted, discharged and admit again. Now she is still in hospital. Reason mum in hospital due to she has difficultly to eat until she can't even walk. Has to carry her. Doctor said she has viral infection on her throat, mouth and lung. That's why she complain pain when eat. So no choice, have to put a hose from mouth to her stomach to feed her. But these few days after feed her, her stomach bloated. At first my sis sms me telling me this sound so serious, I am prepare to go see her already. Then later doctor said may be over feed and some other reason. But we know her liver tumor is getting bigger and harder. However it is not because of the tumor sudden bloated. She has water retention and doesn't pass pee much. Lots of reasons cause her bloated. Again, just now received a sms from sis, said mum has breath difficulty and eye swollen and very yellow. She has jaundice due to liver mulfunction. I was so worried and sis ask me to go back if I can. I just left work that time. So called to understand the situation and later sis say no need go there since is late. So plan go see her tomorrow after work.

By looking at my mum condition now, donno should we be prepared for the day comes or hopefully she is getting better? But it seems never get better but worst. Every time friend ask me about my mum, I really donno how to answer...she has a lot of side effects from the chemo cause her suffering now. Really heartache to see when unable to help. How I wish I can answer that my mum is getting better and better! I would be happy to answer this. But is sad it is the other way. I can't hold my tears whenever think of her and see her just lying on the bed and can't move and talk at all.

sorry guys...I donno how to write anymore...I'm tired already...should go for a rest. good night....