一个人

当一个人静下来的时候，就不知不觉不断的想，猜测。也许是我想太多了。也许是我期望太大了。

爱一个人很难，也很辛苦，该怎么办？我，是注定得不到幸福了。

放手也许是一件好事，放下期望也许是解脱。

为了爱，愿付出全部，但也遍体鳞伤。

Want to Sell

I wanted to sell my camera and intend to get a smaller one. Anyone interested you can contact me by leaving a message here or email to me ok? Price negotiable but message me personally first. Hopefully can sell it by this month because I wanted to get new one before going for holiday :D

Canon Powershot S3IS

And my brother in law wanted to sell his Canon 450D. Not sure is he seriously wanted to sell or just joking. That day I play with it and interested then he give me a price and ask me wanted to buy or not. hehehe to me it's too expensive. But the price is lower than retail price. It's just bought not long ago and still very new. Interested? Ask me. :D

Canon EOS 450D

CS Collection

What is CS? It means Coastal Scents. It's a brand of cosmetics in US. hehe. yeah...recently interested in buying US brand's cosmetics online! Don't think that it's expensive. It is not at all! Very much cheaper than the prices here. CS has a good quality products from my opinion. Especially love their palettes! Remember my previous post of 88 palette? Actually it is one of the product from CS. But I got it locally. Wonder is it really from US or imitate. But the quality is good as it is from the real CS palette. Been using 88 palette alot and so far love it very much! Thanks to Fanny introduce me this..haha. Because of her then I start look into CS website and so wanted to have their other palette and brushes. Thank again to Fanny make my wallet thinner :D. I got to know one of my friend coming back from US for cny holiday. Just on time to order online and send to this friend to bring it back. Save my delivery cost leh. Quite a lot. Thank you Ah Cai!! hehe owe u big big meal but donno when can return to u :p...Am I talk too much? eagerly to know what's my collection? ok ok here the pics of all my collection from CS.

Palettes that I have:

88 Makeup Palette

No need I say anymore..it has so many colors mix and match. I had just tried few colors so far.

 

26 Shadow Blush Combo Palette

Like the colors combination and very useful.

  

Contour and Blush Palette

It's hot!! I just got it today...yet to try it. It was out of stock for some time.

  

Brushes Collection: 

Haven't try the brushes yet. It instructed to wash for the first time. But yet lazy + no time to do it :p will do it soon so I can try all the brushes :D...am still learning what kind of brushes use for what purposes...

3pcs Limited Edition Brush Set

  

It consists of - Face/Blush Brush, Kabuki Brush, Concealer Brush

  

What's inside in this pink bag?

  

Here you go...Pink Kabuki Brush, Foundation Concealer Brush (Large), Pink Synthetic Oval Foundation, Pink Round Crease Eye Brush, Italian Badger Round Crease Brush, Black Deluxe Shadow, Angle Blush Brush, Blending Brush, Chisel Fluff Large Shadow Brush, Chisel Angle Fluff Shadow Brush, Chisel Fluff/Pointed Crease Duet, White Angled liner Brush

  

They mistaken on my order. The gave me extra White Angled liner Brush and less one crease brush but the pricing about the same so I didn't go ask for it.

All brushes from CS in my collection :D wuhooo....first time own so many brushes at one time

  

Gel Liner - Indigo Blue

Suppose order Black as well but it is out of stock so they refund to me.

 

Interested to check out their website? Here you go Coastal Scents

這一生，你錯過了什麼?

這一生，你錯過了什麼?

太太在二十五歲時問丈夫，
丈夫沮喪的回答她：
我錯過一個新的工作機會。

三十五歲時，丈夫生氣的告訴她：
我剛錯過了一班公車。

四十五歲時，丈夫傷心的說：
我錯過與親人見最後一面。

五十五歲時，丈夫失望的回答：
我錯過了退休的好時機。

六十五歲時，丈夫匆匆的答說：
我錯過了看牙醫的時間。

一如往常的，太太總是回以微笑，
而微笑中總帶著落寞。

七十五歲那年， 太太不再問先生了，
此時，先生正跪坐在病危的太太面前，

想起太太每隔一段時間，
總要問他的問題，他反過來問太太，
而太太的微笑中帶著解脫回答：
這一生，我沒有錯過你！

此時，先生早已淚流滿面，
原以為兩人可以永遠在一起，
所以，終日忙著工作與繁瑣的事，
卻從不曾用心體貼朝夕相處的另一半，

先生緊抱著太太說：
這輩子，我錯過妳五十年來的深情……


繁忙的都市裡，有著許多為工作打拚的人，
大家總習慣於把工作當成生活的重心，

為了滿足社會的價值，
不惜出賣自己的時間與身體，
捨不得多花時間投資健康，
以至於錯過了陪同孩子成長的機會、
忽略了身旁關心自己的親友、輕忽了自己的身體。

珍惜，果真要在錯過後才能感受？
沒有人知道明年今日會怎麼？

人世無常，趕緊把握當下，把心中的感激告訴愛你的人、
用行動關心你的家人，把每一天都當成人生的最後一段，
即使走了，也能讓自己及身旁的人了無遺憾。

我想我也錯過了很多很多

感想

始终不时想要的， 是能知道。 不能勉强， 感受到的。

每一句所说的，有顾及别的感受吗？

It's Over

Everything just happened so quick. It's over more than 2 weeks now. I've been wanted to blog about it but I was tight up and no such mood blogging it. Before I say anything in details, I wanted to take this opportunity to thank to everyone of you, every friends I have, my family that always be with me and support me. Thank you for the encouragement and mentally supports and those who contributed. Every FB messages, every SMS, every calls I received and sorry for not replying. Forgive me but to tell all of you I received it and really thank you. Love you all!!!

For those who knows or who doesn't know and concerns about my mum. She has been relieved from pains and suffering illness. She is now rest in peace in somewhere and watching us. I hope she has a better, peaceful, relaxing life. No longer worried for us and work hard for us. My mum was never enjoy her life. Always non-stop contributed her life to us. I'm regretted did not give her a better life and make her happy. I miss my mum now. Wherever I go or I eat or whenever I'm back home things that remind me of her, I will think about her and unconsciously cried. I'm trying not to think and make myself occupied to think about her so that I won't be sad and cry again. I want be strong as you all ask me to be. But I can't when I talk about her, think about her.

May be me and my mum not that closed as my sister as I'm the youngest and seldom spend time at home. And we hardly communicate. But I still love her and she always very pampered me. I miss the time to ask her cook my favourite dishes whenever I go home. It's been long long time and I don't remember when was the last time she did it for me. When I was home I get annoyed sometimes with what she did but now I wanted to get angry with her also cannot. I miss her being around and cook yummy food for us. I miss to have warm home cook dinner especially cook by mum. I have no more chance to learn the cooking skills from her especially hakka food that she used to make for us.

Frankly, I never thought of this will happend or at least not so soon. I always think that my family will always with me no matter how old I am now. When I was young, I lost my dog and rabbit I cried for days and very very sad. Now I can't believe I lost my mum. I can't accept this until I know it's a fact. It's a painful feeling when loosing something or someone you love. Till now I still can remember mum's last breath. I remembered I called her and she unconsciously response me. Then she just gone. I know we have to go through this stage of life by loosing someone. It's the fact and we have to accept it no matter what.

Few days before my mum left us, doctor said she can hang at least 1 week or longer. And we planned to bring her home and get a hospis helping us when mum is home. Suppose wanna bring her home on Saturday but because no hospis working till Monday have no choice to stay. On the day itself my sis from Perth flew back to see mum. Can see she was so happy to see my sis and the grand children. I prayed hard that she can hang on till we bring her home but thing will never work out as you planned. Situations got worst when doc told us her stomach internal bleeding and lung has water cause her difficult breathing. We knew that she can't make it. So the whole Sunday we all were there with her. We don't even dare to leave her. But on that day itself I was sick badly. Hospital aircond too cold and I was fever. I was whole body shivering staying in hospital until I can't stand anymore and walk down to car to get some hot air and rest for a while. I need a blanket even am in the car without starting the car. Had panadol and sleep for while while waiting sis call me if anything happened. I was so panic when I hear the phone ring. When told to go up immediately....I was so so so scared that I can't see mum again. Too bad that I only manage to be with her for the last minute. Why I was sick and cant be with her all the time?! All the moments that happened that night still fresh in my mind. Everyone can't accept it. My sisters cried all out and everyone does.

All happened too quick but lucky I have siblings and bro in laws help to settle everything. What I can do just sit there and cry. But I'm glad that mum able to see everyone of us. Everyone was besides her until she gone. Should glad that she no longer suffer. That's her wish all these while. She has been telling nurse or doctor she doesn't want to live any longer. It should be a good thing for her. We should not sad but happy for her. Let her know that we are living good and she has no worries anymore. It's so fast already 2 weeks since it happened. I've been telling me or ppl who asks I'm ok, no worries. That's what I want to get over it. It will but takes time.

I'm recording down every details I can to remember her last moment with us. She dies in 18 Jan 2009 10:50pm at aged 67 with whole family by her side. She should be comfort even she goes.

Good Bye Ma...I will take care myself and be good. No worries.

In remembrance of my mother. I will always love you although I never tell you once.

It's hurt but will get over it.

 

mum's pretty photo...love you and miss you

My wishes that can't be accomplished:

I wished to have whole family trip. In my memories I don't recall I have it which I really really wish to have.

I wished to have absolutely warm family reunion dinner which I lost the feeling how it is since many years ago.

I wished to have whole family photo with everyone in it including new added in family members.

I wished to have family feels when everyone around in the house. Although noisy but at least I don't feel lonely.