New Year

First wish everyone here Happy New Year.

New year new revolution? mine still the same but never achieved. pathetic. but will never give up hope. I wish coming year will be better year for me. Be good to myself and it will be better for everything.

Suddenly something to say here...I wish I can don't care unhappy things...no more depress. Forget everything...leave expectation behind. What bf gf? no more. forget it. everyone to me now is just brothers sisters. much happier I believe. don't u think so? Just concentrate do what I suppose to do. My main task in life. Others just leave it. Can ar? don't know...try la.

Don't think too much. Live happier. Live healthier.

Counting Down

2 more days to go Bangkok holiday. Leaving on Friday night and back on Monday night. Looking forward for it. Prepare to shop till I drop :p and meet friends there. It's been a year plus I didn't go for holiday. This time I really looking forward. Suppose planned to go a better place but things changed. Sometimes I'm thinking...things changed will the heart changed as well? I can't answer. But my wish is remain same as what it was. Don't know what am I talking here...sob sob

6 more days start a new job...which I don't wish my holiday end so fast! But no choice. After Bangkok trip next day is first day for new job. Weird hoh...but is my choice. May be rest too much no good. Make myself more lazy. But I'm enjoying the holiday. Everyday donno do what stay up till very late night...hohoho...tired but don't go to sleep...all the time with my pc. sigh nothing else can do? don't know

I'm Broke

Today sent my car to fix. Never expect it takes so long time and so damn expensive. According to workshop they said a lot of things have to change. Add this and that in the end the bill is killing me. wa wa wa...cry without tears now. :( First of all, took 7 hours to fix the car problem...so damn long. Lucky I got a friend be my driver and accompany me to get computer gadgets. Secondly, the bill cost RM1250! superb expensive! So now I'm officially broke. My money to BKK trip gone now. no money shop already!!! wah wah wah wah wah....

Oh by the way...next Friday going to BKK! looking forward. Be back on Monday and Tuesday start work lor....sob sob. Have to really enjoy the last week I have now!

Car Breakdown

Today I didn't drive out at all until just now about to go for class. Nearly can't start up my car but lucky manage to start and able to be at Taipan teaching classes. After class went dinner with members...they buy me dinner. so nice of them. So around 11pm we went off and this time no more luck. Try and try but fail to start up my car. Battery gone. So have to make SOS call to Raymond. Lucky Larry know how to jump start the car. Both of them are my rescuer came to help me. Buy them supper for helping me :D. Tomorrow morning gotta send the car to fix lor...sigh. Already booked a friend helps me :p

Arigatou!!

Oh by the way...haven't wish my readers Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!!!
I think I'm having too long break made myself too lazy...kakaka..trying hard to update my blog as much as I can now.

New Highway - KL-Putrajaya

A new highway opened which is KL Putrajaya highway. I found out this highway opened about last 2 weeks ago. That night super jam at KL-Seremban highway so I saw this exit before kuchai lama exit and it is straight to the place I live. So I just take a chance try the new highway...it is fast way without traffic jam. Best thing is no toll all the way. Then last week I try the highway again and this time from my house to Pavilion. The highway leads to KL town and exit from Jln Tun Razak. Only 1 toll to pass by but now still free. I just took 10 mins to reach KL without traffic jam. Same thing came back from town to my house within 10 mins. I so like the highway. Convenient and fast to me! Will use it more often when going down to KL. It is also leads to kuchai lama and I can skip traffic jam along KL-Seremban highway if I'm going to PJ. hiak. nice nice. For those havent try yet pls use it!

TF Q4 Launch

This quarter launch I was involved. Lucky that I am part of the launch team for body jam. This time the launch was very fun. Everyone dress up for xmas theme. Can see everywhere red and full of xmas atmosphere. As usual, before the launch we will spent time to practice...until late night. But worth of the efforts. The outcome was good. A lot members and they enjoyed. It was a exciting launch. One thing to highlight is we have to do entire class with jeans. Very hot and heavy. So not used to it but thank god still manage to get over it. :p Let the photos speak everything la...I lazy write also.

This is the BodyJam launch team before class photo - Jason & 'S' Sistas :)



After the launch with santa and the 'S' sistas with rain deer band


More photos check here

Having Break

I've already resigned from Eye Bee M....monday was my last day. yeah I'm changing job again. well, why? there are a lot of things happened and I'm not happy working there. So just made a decision which I feel better. Since I resigned early this month I am happier...more relaxing...no stress. That's I want now. Glad that I'm leaving a place that I'm not suitable in. Some of you might think it is such a good company why leave? In fact, after you went in you won't think it is good as what you are thinking. Conclusion, I'm not suitable there and there not suitable me.

Anyway I'm already having break and do nothing at home since after monday. :D the day still pass as usual. at night I'm still teaching classes. oh yeah...after I resigned I got a job offer from ex company (the first job) as senior software architect. Back to my old skill in programming. Hopefully it is better place for me although pay cut. May be this is I need now, less pay doesnt matter, as long as lesser pressure and more flexible...not so much politics. Starting new job in January. Quite a long break for me :) and will go bangkok before I start new job. yippie!

now everyday sleep, eat...do nothing...playing with my new desktop....hiak

爱情

往往许多人在抉择伴侣时,容易东想西想,不知所措,就是因为害怕一时做错决定,看错人,造成终生的遗憾。

诺贝尔文学奖得主萧伯纳说:「此时此刻在地球上,约有两万个人适合当你的人生伴侣,就看你先遇到哪一个,如果在第二个理想伴侣出现之前,你已经跟前一个人发展出相知相惜、互相信赖的深层关系,那后者就会变成你的好朋友,但是若你跟前一个人没有培养出深层关系,感情就容易动摇、变心,直到你与这些理想伴侣候选人的其中一位拥有稳固的深情,才是幸福的开始,漂泊的结束」

爱上一个人不需要靠努力,只需要靠「际遇」,是上天的安排,但是「持续地爱一个人」就要靠「努力」,在爱情的经营中,顺畅运转的要素就是沟通、体谅、包容与自制(面临诱惑有所自制)。有许多人总是为「际遇」所迷惑与苦恼,意念不停、欲念不断、争逐不散,而忘了培养经营感情的能力才是幸福的关键。

所以不要去追问到底谁才是我的Mr. Right,而是要问说在眼前的伴侣关系中,我能努力到什么程度、成长到什么程度,若没有培养出经营幸福的能力,就算真的 Mr. Right出现在你身边,幸福依然会错过的,而活在犹疑与遗憾当中,这不就是许多「爱情虚无症」的遭遇与心态吗？

若你此刻已有一位长久相伴的伴侣,不要再随便三心二意地犹疑了,我们往往不易察觉感情中的一个陷阱,就是「近亲生慢侮」,也就是经济学中的铁律「边际效益递减法则」,跟你在一起越久的人,就越容易麻木与忽视,而新鲜的「际遇」总是那么动人可爱。

在感情对待中,难免有摩擦与无心的伤害,而且论得罪自己的次数累加起来最多的人,当然是跟我们在一起最久、最亲近的人。而新欢呢,又还没开始有得罪你的机会,再加上他的刻意讨好,所以新欢怎么看怎么可爱,旧爱怎么看怎么讨厌。

但别忘了,新欢身上总是有不确定的未知数,旧爱身上就是有难得的熟悉感、确定感、信赖感。千万不要随便在偶然的「际遇」中迷失了自己,错放了幸福温暖的手。

所以萧伯纳的话,是要提醒情人不要太钻牛角尖于寻觅那唯一,应该把精神用在学会经营幸福的能力上,同时也提醒我们「溺水三千只取一瓢饮」若有幸遇到了难得的伴侣,就不要再三心二意了,因为我们永远不知道一生何时会遇到两万个其中的几个,所以要知福惜福、活在当下

勇气

终于作了这个决定 别人怎么说我不理

只要你也一样的肯定 我愿意天涯海角都随你去

我知道一切不容易 我的心一直温习说服自己

最怕你忽然说要放弃 爱真的需要勇气来面对流言蜚语

只要你一个眼神肯定 我的爱就有意义

我们都需要勇气 去相信会在一起

人潮拥挤我能感觉你 放在我手心里你的真心

Q4 Les Mills Quarterly Workshop

Every quarter we will have a workshop for Les Mills programs master class to learn new releases. So it is a tension time for us again...because have to learn new chory before next launch! Seriously this time I love the quarterly...because the two programs I joined were BodyStep and BodyJam. both master class superb. BodyStep celebrate it's 70's release which using 70's musics and 70's essence. More fun and disco feel. More performance. So harder than this time. But I like it. For BodyJam, so so so like the master class. Tracy and Kylie were so great with new moves. This new release has more different moves including disco as well :p, Reggaeton, New School House block with african jungle jump etc. Wah...this jump a bit hard to do. But I like the songs and the moves. Time to remember the chory already...sob sob. Time time time and my memory!! :D Here the photos taken from quarterly. Thanks to Osman ;) Click on the pic to go to the link for more pictures.

BodyStep

BodyJam

Bad News but Think Positively

Today sis just told me mom's report is out. It is Advanced Stage which means infected both liver. So coming surgery will just remove the tumor from intestine then for liver part need to do chemo. Just now went back Seremban after work to have dinner with mom. Good to see her again and she said little bit pain only. She still look ok at the moment. And thank that she is quite optimistic. At first I was worry about her..sometimes she really worry a lot type of people. Sis said must make mom no worries then only can help on the illness.

Just now few aunties came to visit also. Then we all went dinner together. Everyone worries about mom but we all look at the bright side. Everything will be fine. Must think positively now and like my brother said it can cure one. Sis suppose migrating early Dec but she postponed the plan. Wait till mom get better from chemo then only bring mom together to Perth for recovery. Now we stop mom to take care the shop which she is doing daily. Sisters and bro figured out to settle the living for dad and mom and the medical bill. Mom no medical coverage from insurance :( so sis has to pay for it. Lucky I have elder sisters and brother for all these. I only can give mentally support to mom as much as possible.

Advice to all, please bring your folks for medical checkup regularly. Don't wait till they said pain only go for doctor, it will be too late. For the sake of you and your family, make sure you are always in healthy condition. Don't let your family and friends worry about you if you got sick. Health is the most important than others. Start think about it. Sis told me to go for checkup since mom has cancer, so we might have possibility to get cancer also. Lately I felt a bit unusual pain on lower abdominal. For those who don't know, I had medical history where operated once to remove ovary cysts few years ago. Hope it won't come back again...finger cross.

Result

My mistake. Mom's tumor is not in uterus. is in intestine. This evening sis told me report is out and confirmed is cancerous. Is a bad news to me. Now looking for a hospital and let mom has surgery. Hopefully after surgery everything is fine. Finger cross. God Bless Her.

I need to be strong now. Can't cry. It has been a critical period for me...very hard to go thru but will try. Learn to be tough be strong.

Update: Mom will admit hospital tomorrow (Tuesday) and surgery to remove the tumor on Wednesday morning. Tonight (Monday) after work will go back to see her and try to take leave on Wednesday if possible.

Worry

Just heard that my mom is sick now...she has uterus tumor :( Today just took sample from the tumor and send to KL hospital for analysis to see is it cancerous or not. Next week only know result. Hopefully and finger cross she is fine. Let's pray....

Pity my mom la...she pain for 2 months already never tell us. Until now very very pain only we knew it. She should have ask us bring her to see doctor early. Old people is like that, pain and never think of see doctor one. I feel bad and sorry that I didn't go back often to check on her. Lucky now got sis in Seremban to take care of her. Heard that she had hard time from the pain today to get the sample. Heartache when heard of it from my sis :(

I can't do anything now...what can I do??? I really hope she is fine. I don't want her suffer la. And yet nothing we can do :(

Can't help myself from crying now...really useless. Too much worries from so many things...I'm gonna collapse soon.

Can't Focus

Just now in the gym after wave and before jam class I nearly lost my iPod. I went toilet and forgotten to take it out together. Lucky I discovered earlier and quickly go to toilet and wait for the girl came out. Lucky it is still there! phew. If not I'll be crying without tears. I think is because too tired. Too much worries. Made me lost my way.

Anything can boost me up? I need it!

Something I've done

I've did something which I don't know right or wrong. May be it's a silly thought. But my gut to tell me to do so and I did it. No matter what will happened after this, no expectations although I wish to have a positive sign to me. I'm glad I'm able to do so. Let all out from me. Wish me luck.

Almost Accident

This morning when driving to work as usual using Kerinchi Link. From federal highway go up the highway...there is an accident just right at the corner which the cars behind unable to see it. It was raining and floor wet. Lucky I didn't drive fast which I used to...when reach at the corner out of sudden all cars stopped...have to emergency break but the road too wet and my car skidded. Lucky next lane no car so I just moved to that side. And lucky car behind me also managed to break but I can see nearly hit me. Phew...lucky managed to stop and car not skid much. What happened was the car don't know how it bang and the whole car blocked 1 whole left lane...hopefully the drive is ok.

Clement's Farewell

28 Oct 2007 - Farewell party for Clement. He is leaving to BKK for work. I was organizing the food and make sure everyone brings food :p In fact that night more than enough food. Many varieties and nice :) In the morning after breakfast we went we market to buy fish ball. Then follow Clement went Giant buy the necessary stuffs for the party. Went home rest a while and at larry place around 3+pm. Helped to blow balloons and tied the balloons. Suppose I am cooking chicken wings but thank god got Joey helped :p. Since early morning non-stop preparing and guests coming at 5+ and so...

The food bit by bit coming in. Those who came later miss the earlier dishes which gone fast :D Some of them just makan and watch So U Think U Can Dance. It was wonderful night. See all in green color very nice. I think the most happiest is Clement lor. Ate a lot that night...after that week gain lots of weight leh :( sigh. I was the first one be there and the last one left. I stayed up till about 1am. Superb tired and next day gotta work some more...sob sob.

OK la photos speak the word...click on the pic and will lead you to Osman site which have a nice layout with nice pics! I so like the pics...all in green color. Others from my camera pls go to here.

Raya Open House

27 Oct 2007 - Hari Raya Open House organize by Osman & Mike at their place. That night full of 40-50 people. Great to see some friends that been long time no see since I've quit FF. Had a blardy full night (satays, popiahs, 4 big cakes & ice creams!).

After the gathering I follow my gang to La Queen. It's been long long time no clubbing with them. Been to La Queen think got 3-4 times. It was last night clubbing with Clement in KL. Super tired on that night. Only slept at 4+ in the morning. Next morning woke up at 9+am to have breakfast :p

Here the group pic taken that night. Click on the pic to see more pics from Osman site. Thanks to Osman for such nice site arrangement :)

Something Changed

Lately I felt there are difference...something changing in me. It leads me to worry, anxious, depress and emotional. I'm lost now...

Frightened

On Thursday night, I was studying for next day exam till 3:30am. An hour later in the middle of my sleep I heard noisy sounds...sounds came from my laptop keyboards. Then I turn around my body (my bed next to the table where I put laptop and next to laptop I put my handphone. And a window next to my bed and table and facing corridor out from lift. It was opened while I'm sleeping.) I got shock after turned around. I saw a hand holding a stick came from outside the windows trying to hook my mobile and it can't reach thats why keep touching laptop keyboard which made the sounds. My first instinct is to grab the stick and shout. When I look out from my windows the thief ran away. Didn't manage to see his face. I should have grab the hand instead the stick. But too late to think about it. Quickly closed the windows. I was too shocked till my whole body felt cold and shiver. Can't even sleep again. I didn't wake up others since no lost. But at that moment I wish someone can calm me but not as what I'm expecting. My mind kept replay the incident. I'm terrified. Alone to face this at that time. sigh...

Next day morning before I tell my sis about the incident...she told me there is a vase outside my windows. Then I told her about the case. Usually a people stand outside my windows their hand can't reach. Now I know how the thieve tries steal using the vase to climb up. The whole day still can't calm down and kept thinking. Myself very cautious and sensitive to everything around me. The world no longer safe anymore...must be careful anytime anywhere. especially being alone all the time.

From this I see who cares and who doesn't. But never mind...as long as I know now.
This is how outside my room windows look like. And the vase tat fella use to climb up.

Hate Man

At the moment I just want to say I hate man! Don't ask me why. Isn't this is my own blog? I can express what I like to. Whether you like or not. If you choose to read then stay if not then go away. You may read me or know me from my blog. I don't hide. I just write what I like to write. May be this is an easy way for you to know me. But you won't understand me personally. There are things I still can't express here...all hiding within myself. Let me be bitchy a bit here...I am not always good and nice in front of all of you. I still have anger, emotion etc. I am nice to you because I don't hate you or dislike you. So don't take for granted. It may changed one day...

Men are cheater..they are selfish...when they like you, they need you, they will come close to you. At the beginning were very sweet moments. You will fall into the trap. They tend to be nice to you. good to you. But all lies....never trust anyone especially a guy! When they don't need you anymore will forget you totally. How can they be like this? Sorry that I can't do so. Once I like the guy I won't easily forget. Not like men heartless. Where are all the cares? the kindness? the sweet talks? the good memories? all gone! they just turn away in a second. Can't I hate them??

Hopeless to see all these...to gone thru all these...is better shut myself from being hurt or lied. No liar! No man! Is better keep myself away...sooner I have no confidence on men. May be I'm stupid in believing...once and once hurt myself. No more believe...no more trust. That's it!

SHUT!!!