Just heard from my sis mum admitted to hospital again due to pass motion with blood. Have to stay in hospital for checkup to see what's wrong. Sis also told me mum is weak. Can't do chemo for these few days yet. Wish my mum getting better. Wish to see her but these few days tight up with things. It doesn't seem smooth days for me lately. Trying be strong...be positive.
Last week when I was in wedding dinner one of my friend ask me how many months I didn't go back see my mum. i just told I went back a week before over the weekend. I told my friend mum in hospital. Then he said why am I still so happy. Well, what can I say? I just told him trying to be positive. I am trying hard not to think too much on such bad things. Without thought of it I won't be sad. Because I know once I think I will cry no matter what. I don't want so. So I try don't think about it, stay happy. Tak kan want me show my sad face all thee time to my friends? especially in ppl's wedding? that's not good and will affect others. Some said see me like happy always. Really? When I'm sad no one sees only. And try to hide myself and don't let anyone knows. However sometimes when emotional hits, I can't hide anymore and just express out everything.
I know this happened will offended anyone. Accept my apologies on my fault with no intention. I wish I can be happy and emotion-less all the time. That will be good.
Today not feeling well. Unable get replacement and have to do the class later. I wish someone can help so I can take a rest. And also wish to go hospital see mum. I know next 2 days won't have time....

























